For Whom the Bell Sneezes

There's a theme to these things, a common thread, and choosy mothers who take time out from choosing Jif might actually notice. However, choosy mothers choosing Jif are not among the people (person, actually) who reads this stuff, so it makes little difference. But more to the point, there is a cadence that can be felt if you listen hard enough. Or if you put your hand to the screen, which you shouldn't do. It leaves fingerprints. But the point is that there are things that you can see, or hear, or feel, or smell, or maybe taste, if you so desire.

Mashed potatoes. There, I've said it. This is not a typical subject for this hour of the morning -- it's 6:17 as I type this -- but why not? I've read the description of the late Hunter S. Thompson's typical day, which seemed to involve endless amounts of Pernod and marijuana and LSD, and if he could do all that, I can write about mashed potatoes early in the morning. Although why I would want to do such a thing is beyond me.

So what it comes down to, at least at dinner last night, is whether the Northern Mariana Islands are the same as Puerto Rico. The residents of both places would answer with a resounding "No!" I would concur, as the dependency status of these two areas differs greatly. Puerto Rico, for example, is an unincorporated, organized territory of the US with commonwealth status; policy relations between Puerto Rico and the US conducted under the jurisdiction of the Office of the President. The Northern Mariana Islands, on the other hand, are a commonwealth in political union with the US; federal funds to the Commonwealth administered by the US Department of the Interior, Office of Insular Affairs. And I have this on the very best authority: the CIA.

Unfortunately, in these times, linking to the CIA (or even mentioning them) puts you on a list. Even reading about someone mentioning the act of being put on a list will get you put on a list. That's just the way it is, and you'd better get used to it, because if you don't... well, the terrorists win. And if those terrorists come from the Northern Mariana Islands, they are most likely underpaid. But they are not, as far as I can tell, paid in mashed potatoes.

But they might be paid in Jif.