Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Tres Bien

Well, I still don't speak French, and apparently it's for lack of trying. That's not unusual, though, and it seems to be the explanation for most of the things that I can't do, including hang gliding and the construction of skyscrapers. No matter how many things I ever do, there will still be an infinite number of things I haven't done, and this appears to be by Divine Design.

Or so the Creationists would have you believe, or at least that's my understanding. Then again, I haven't asked any of them, but the question would involve mathematics, so it seems like it would be a bad question to ask that group of people.

Maybe the right question to ask is "what have I done?" and I would ask that question, but I have already done so within this sentence. Correct semantic construction is an imperative in these parts, and the exact nature of the question is less important than the manner in which it is asked, the elegance with which it is phrased, and the order in which it is posed.

Wait. I made up that last part, and it makes no sense. The truth is, there are no stupid questions, only stupid people asking questions. Wait. Did anyone really ask me about that?

It turns out that the answer to the most recent question is "no," which may well lead to a forfeit of one kind or another, assuming that there are rules governing this kind of thing. And there are no rules, so a forfeit is clearly out of the question. However, this can be posed in various languages. "Ho una domanda" or "Ich habe eine Frage" may well be correct, in their own particular idioms, but it's been years since I took German in high school, and my knowledge of Italian comes from CDs and travel books. Those phrases could mean anything, really.

No, these are things that I want to ask about, but in an elegant language. Like French. Pity that I don't know French, because J'ai une question.

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